However, any conversation with his ex would turn into I have custody, I will raise them how I want.. All this state funded support also places a burden on the noncustodial parent to replace that support when the custodial parent is more than capable of providing some type of support to at least even the blow. File for visitations they can amend the restraint order upon visitation schedule! There should be a base number that covers food, clothes and lodging split 50/50 between both parents. Your assumption is that people have children under ideal circumstances where the parents have good paying jobs, a big house with a nice picket fence, and two cars in the driveway and $1,000.00 is chump change. Dads everywhere are getting screwed over and treated badly! Reducing and, in some cases, forgiving arrears. We are being unfairly treated.. Im a contractor and had my exs lawyer trying to use my wages before deductions for the child support calculation As in before all the materials,fuel, and subcontractors I had paid out of it for the year. However if you go walking in there with attitude and saying you need more visitation to reduce CS, youre digging yourself a grave. For the first few years, things were good. Ive payed her child support for years with checks. Some fall victim to illness, job loss, accidents, and disasters and other uncontrollable things. The first step is recognizing that this is a Parental Rights issue and not a Fathers Rights issue. We both decided to go out separate ways, however that doesnt mean that he has to support me . I had all 3 of our kids full time and I worked full time. The FEDS help the states to ensure dad pays. She has been staying with me for 3 years. Men, the only way to win is not to play. funny thats what Ive said for 16 years!but Im the woman who pays, I lost the house all 6 cars (truthfully it was evenly 3 his 3 mine) and 4 busineses, my accounts were ceased and several professional lawsuits and tax suits were filed following the big D, because of a prick x, whom I put thru college. This is biological. Im blessed that he is the father of my children. If the child support payments are current and all arrears are satisfied, the tax refund is not intercepted. Making physical contact with another person in a harmful or offensive manner is a crime. If the custodial parent cant be bothered to document and substantiate actual costs then they should get either nothing or 50% of a basic formula for what the average costs of a childs educational and healthcare are for whatever age. Call The Firm For Men, located conveniently in Virginia Beach, at 757-383-9184, or contact us online, to learn how we can help you with your child support, modification, garnishment and related issues. Take what you are feeling, times it by two and now you know how most men feel. Whilst many views float around arguing for and against child support, most decent fathers and parents would argue the issue is not whether or not they wish to support their children, but rather the often unfair conditions imposed upon them. I was told that Child Support credited me the $400 i sent over the course of the previous years but i was in debt the remaining $600 every month since the day she walked out on me. Paying over 500 month, while Shes living rent, mortgage free because her mom paid for it along with a brand new vehicle. If anyone has been ordered to pay interest on their child support obligation, please feel free to ask the court or local prosecutor to recalculate the interest you are or have been ordered to pay based on this FEDERAL law. Plenty of women just enjoy complaining and man bashing when they arent a perfect parent either. THE MONEY CAN BURN, it wont save anybody. You need to appeal the decision The equal earning parents then have dramatically different post-child support budgets, since one is receiving and the other is paying. Stop blaming the mom for your own failure to show up. So mother gets custodydad paysand the states gets a kickback from the feds. However, they would not retro the payments and elimate the arrears so he still owes almost 20k in arrears which, is ridiculous. They care more about money and jailing then helping families succeed!! Its a matter of being responsible for their children I dont think children should only go see the other parent on weekends why cant they come take them somewhere for the day or a spend the night during the week. I have to save for a month to be able to take them to a movie. The primary driver in most custody cases is that if the time division changes, so does the CS. I did the same thing. This is considered modern-day slavery. Do you think the mother cared nope, she probably prays that something horrible happens to me. He was 30 pounds. Never, in any given month, did we spend over $2000 dollars to support our kids. I work hard to sustain my lifestyle and to take care of my child. Find the father (usually) so he can help to financially aid the family. But there are also fathers who go through senareos similar to what I discribed above. Helping out financially with anything she needed. Lets do more to fight this injustice. It is what it is. I fought anyway, and now have a GAL that has equated me with a child abuser in his language and promises to punish me if I dont accept what she is willing to give me. Please see both: http://www.fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf and https://web.archive.org/web/20150219014614/http://answerisland.com/child-support-kickbacks.html. It is a two-way street, 100%. I dont think the children should have to go for visitation unless they want so many are forced to go. So enter a judges job But its just a job to the judge so status quo is what you get. There are so many issues with this system. Child Support. You are not entitled to them. In many cases jail is actually better from some men if they are young enough and physically big. In the same way that the medical right of woman is forwarded as a human right to have an abortion as it alone (supposedly) affects the pregnant woman then it is also therefore only proper and ethically to first and foremost identify this unconstitutional involvement and enslavement by the govt into the lives of the populace as dads issue first and foremost. We split all expenses 50/50 but Ive gone above her in making sure my kids have the best educational opportunity and Im the one that always attends their school events and such. Can anyone help, or are we just victims of a system that cares only about generating revenue by victimizing innocent people. The only thing that can again make the equation equal, is the ability of the man to decide if hes willing to be responsible financially and supportively for the child. False allegations of abuse. The so-called judge cannot deprive you of your kid without due process. Its pretty fracked up. "Unofficial" Dads. Oh, by the way, he old paid it because I filed for divorce and took him to court. Thats is ridiculous. Child Support is a SCAM! So I have to support myself and the kids with nothing even though I work like crazy and try to do the right thing. Children are ripped from their primary parents in TN, bc, well, dads deserve their 50%!! But the pendulem has swung all the way to the other side and it doesnt appear that its going to be put where it belongs..in the middle. He can keep sleeping on his mothers couch and taking public transportation (his license was revoked after a year of non-payment. Exactly!! Bipolar disorder runs in her family unfortunately, I wish I was making this up but its the harsh reality we live in. Two years later the welfare system made her produce a father because you can ONLY be. I got my camera phone recording as I did not know what to expect. You havent stopped to consider that most men lose their kids 90% of the time. For me, thats with the 20k but at the end of the day, what that system puts well intended fathers through is brutal and I sometimes wonder if the system is part of the reason some people just lose it and do crazy things. It is the responsibility of BOTH parents to make sure theyre kids are taken care of!!!!! You dont need a driver license to get to work if you dont have a job and are not looking for one). Ever watch the movie fight club? Because many judges are locked into the the higher the child support is the better it is for the child mentalitywhich completely undermines the shared parenting approachthey are reluctant to deviate downward in child support award. Calling them, i was told although a payment plan was included in monthly payments, they will do whatever they want to get it sooner. Even after i gave in to her demands she got the house,new car,property,kids,tax credit i got the 20k loan debt that i had to barrow to cover her Credit card spending spree and a fixed amount for child support,,no problemfine that was the deal my lawyer said sign it its the best you will get and its over for good. A job I lost when I found out she had the affair with a co-worker. We refused to put that in divorce decree because if we were still married nobody could make us pay, so why should being divorced change that? Do some research. child related expenses should be equally divided and same with medical and dental care. If the dads were given the same rights and respect as the moms, maybe thered be more parenting done the mature adult way..doing whats best for the child (children). Thats what I signed up for when I had a kid. We gave him and my daughter their own land and mobil home. Shared custody is not just whats best for the children; its what complies with a fundamental human right: the right to paretn your own children. Im like wow. Here's how you can give Black fathers a better chance in court. I dont want a dime from her I already pay 100%. For young fathers who are struggling with finishing school or entering a new job, being ordered to pay child support until the child becomes an adult is challenging, even if the amount is minimal. We are now divorced and I 1400/month in support. The system is completely broke. As a defunct website named AnswerIsland explained it, both ordering sole custody with the lower earning parent and restricting the non-custodial parents access to their children increases the amount of child support collected, which increases the incentive payments (kickbacks) that the state receives for collecting child support. I agree 100% ive been dealing with this for years snd they recently quadrupled it! A child does not survive on $200 a month. I have 1.5 masters degrees in nursing now. During the time it takes to establish paternity, this balance grows. I could go on, but at this point it wouldnt change a thing. So what should we do about the mothers who dont want to succeed in life and live of child support. If a pregnancy occur from the equal decision is when equality breaks down for the man. If Rose was a man your response would be completely different. While a minor is taking care of another minor home alone at night.. when my son comes for the summer , his mother still wants me to pay child support and take care of him for the summer, she will only pay half on a plane ticket and thats becuase she doesnt want my son to switch planes, so she pays for a direct flight, my drive to the airport is longer then his flight home. Top it off, I could not get SSI benefits for her, she was denied!! Though I do not get in his personal business, others tell me what hes up to. Meanwhile, their mother has written off my son and refused to help with anything now that hes emancipated. I read many comments at random and most were from a dads perspective. Its design results in discrimination against fathers both in terms of custody and child support. My kids have no future now thanks to the childrens right tp choose to cause all kinds of drama and litigation when they should be focusing on school and being kids. I find all your stories very interesting and true from what I have seen and I would love some advice if anyone has any Im just at a lose and have no idea what I can do but here it is. But because her mother is a low life Im charge 1375 a month cant even afford my expenses and will get in trouble with the state. A parent should be able to see their kids if they are paying, paternity testing should be done before payment is received, if arrearages are getting high( then a caseworker should call and ask for a modification). How can I ever get ahead? 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